mama cumquat: October 2006

Is this going to work? I am trying to figure out this whole fucking blog thing! How in god's name do i post a second entry? I consider myself pretty computer literate and this is like reading russian....um, when you aren't russian or can't speak russian, or have never even seen russian characters. Fuck.

Yeah, so life is pretty good right now except that my baby is crying because he is learning how to put himself back to sleep. So i have to ignore it for awhile and there is no better way to do this than to submerse myself into writing this. Going for the gusto here. Before i actually sat down to write, i thought i might have some interesting things to say this time but now that i am here, it all eludes me. Could be the baby crying that is keeping most of my brain occupied.

So i manage a staff at this fairly intimate office setting of social workers and hell, i'm pretty young and am still a bit uncomfortable with the fact that i manage my peers, and in some cases, those older than me. I wrote a note to one staff member who i have had some social interaction with outside of work (though would not call her a friend). She is chronically late in making her deadlines. I wrote a her a sticky that said, "Fer reals, this is due DATE, TIME). OK, i recognize i am not twelve and should not have used such colloquialisms with her and assumed more of a familiarity than what is there between us; admittedly, it was a bit unprofessional on my part but she responded with a note saying how this note was offensive and hurtful. I left her a voicemail apologizing for accidentally hurting her and requested she call me back to set up a time to talk about this, and other work items. She's not called me back and it's been a week. So while i admit where i've erred, i'm feeling like i need to pull rank. I am her boss essentially and she just gave my apology the metaphorical finger. Not cool. So that's some of the big drama in my life.

I started cooking again. After months of mac and cheese, frozen pizza, salads, soups and bread etc. I am cooking for myself and my man. The only issue is that all i want to cook are things with oodles of meat, cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, you get the picture. So, the guilt that i carry for not forciing vegetables upon myself is equivalent to the cross of jesus. How stupid is that? I really should have been catholic. I'm carrying a cross for vegetables.

Also watching V. Mars along with a shitload of other TV. Too tired to read at night. Watching America's Next Top Model tonight. I am so ashamed.

I am in a book club. I feel like a fucking loser b/c the book they chose this month is actually a bit of a challenging read (due to references to Russia and its political system during Stalin). Has anyone read the Master and Margarita? It's interesting but i am so mentally lazy these days that i am finding it hard to even wrap my mind around Madonna's "did she or didn't she" adoption.

I am so irritated with the media these days....that's for another blog. Baby stopped crying. Gave up and went back to sleep. Amen--only took five minutes or so. I love my boy.