mama cumquat: October 2006

Is this going to work? I am trying to figure out this whole fucking blog thing! How in god's name do i post a second entry? I consider myself pretty computer literate and this is like reading russian....um, when you aren't russian or can't speak russian, or have never even seen russian characters. Fuck.

Yeah, so life is pretty good right now except that my baby is crying because he is learning how to put himself back to sleep. So i have to ignore it for awhile and there is no better way to do this than to submerse myself into writing this. Going for the gusto here. Before i actually sat down to write, i thought i might have some interesting things to say this time but now that i am here, it all eludes me. Could be the baby crying that is keeping most of my brain occupied.

So i manage a staff at this fairly intimate office setting of social workers and hell, i'm pretty young and am still a bit uncomfortable with the fact that i manage my peers, and in some cases, those older than me. I wrote a note to one staff member who i have had some social interaction with outside of work (though would not call her a friend). She is chronically late in making her deadlines. I wrote a her a sticky that said, "Fer reals, this is due DATE, TIME). OK, i recognize i am not twelve and should not have used such colloquialisms with her and assumed more of a familiarity than what is there between us; admittedly, it was a bit unprofessional on my part but she responded with a note saying how this note was offensive and hurtful. I left her a voicemail apologizing for accidentally hurting her and requested she call me back to set up a time to talk about this, and other work items. She's not called me back and it's been a week. So while i admit where i've erred, i'm feeling like i need to pull rank. I am her boss essentially and she just gave my apology the metaphorical finger. Not cool. So that's some of the big drama in my life.

I started cooking again. After months of mac and cheese, frozen pizza, salads, soups and bread etc. I am cooking for myself and my man. The only issue is that all i want to cook are things with oodles of meat, cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, you get the picture. So, the guilt that i carry for not forciing vegetables upon myself is equivalent to the cross of jesus. How stupid is that? I really should have been catholic. I'm carrying a cross for vegetables.

Also watching V. Mars along with a shitload of other TV. Too tired to read at night. Watching America's Next Top Model tonight. I am so ashamed.

I am in a book club. I feel like a fucking loser b/c the book they chose this month is actually a bit of a challenging read (due to references to Russia and its political system during Stalin). Has anyone read the Master and Margarita? It's interesting but i am so mentally lazy these days that i am finding it hard to even wrap my mind around Madonna's "did she or didn't she" adoption.

I am so irritated with the media these days....that's for another blog. Baby stopped crying. Gave up and went back to sleep. Amen--only took five minutes or so. I love my boy.

Well, in attempts to keep track of my friends without actually having time to call and talk to anyone for more than 5 minutes, i started checking out their blogs. If i wanted to post a comment, it appears as though i am forced to sign up for a blog--hence this posting. I find it really strange (and really, in some ways, self-important) that anyone would want to read anything that i would have to say as i feel that my life is incredibly uninteresting. I have a new baby. I don't sleep. I don't have time to find a way to drop those last eight pounds. I don't have amazing sex anymore. My vocabulary must be that of a sixth grader these days(and that's being generous). And honestly, i am so worn out that i did not go to work today.

The most exciting (and hell, let's even use the word "dramatic" because that what sells and thus, if i want my two friends who have blogs to ever check in on mine, i better make this worth their while). Anyway, the most dramatic thing that has happened recently is that my son got diagnosed with eczema. Yeah, not real exciting. But it has been really troublesome, layers of skin on his head peeling away, revealing pink and oozing sub-layers of skin. It was enough to break any mama's heart. My poor baby. So glad we have a prescription now.

So yeah, that's my first post. My baby's oozing eczema.
And Sarah, i fucking love V. Mars. Have loved it since i first started watching it Season one. And here's a confession: when it was on wednesdays, i stopped watching Lost for it. Yeah, i fucking love Veronica. I have another TV show confession for a show i am hooked on but i'll leave you wanting more, ladies. And you two friends know who you are......