MamaCumquat

So i made the mistake of telling my husband that i was blogging and that he could look at it. He apparently read it while at work and when he came home, his first comment about was, "You cuss a lot in it." Ummmm, i guess i should take that as a compliment(?). Then, he also said that i write well about myself. Also, a compliment (?) or just an implication that i am really self-indulgent and love talking about myself, hence, am really good at it. I love this man but he is clueless as to the psyche of the woman. I can hardly blame him, being that he had no sisters and i'm not even sure if he has even ever had a really close friend who was a girl. Surrounded by boys his whole life, girls are complete enigmas, i suspect. But he's such an interesting specimen, being that so many of his best friends don't even have sisters in their families. So like, he ran around with all these kids who also do not know anything about girls/women. I am wondering if there truly is something to the saying about things being in the water because B's neighborhood was filled with boys and now that they are procreating, are filling the world with more boys, my son included. Thank good-diddly-golly that i don't plan on being an evenly remotely indulgent parent to what i am predicting will be my brood of boys (only one now, but i feel it is my destiny given husband's genetics and the drinkable water in his hood when growing up).
So, um, i am wondering if it is normal to feel somewhat alienated from people when you first have a kid. Mol, Shan? Any feedback on this? Even with my oldest friend in the world, who is pregnant herself (due in Jan), there is a small little chasm. I am not too worried about these little lapses of intimacy with my friends, as i have faith that true and close friendships ebb and flow but it is indeed a curiosity to observe how distant i feel from so many people.
My mom was here for a long weekend and just left today. I miss my mommy. No shit. 30 years old and i still get choked up when she leaves. I told her that it feels so natural to have her here, like she could just hop in her car and drive home after a Sunday night dinner. But no, off to the airport today to her home, where there has not been, nor ever will be, 5 days of torrential downpouring.
I had so many crazy dreams last night. One of those that i remember is that i was driving around HUGE roundabouts (i know those of you who have been to europe know what i am talking about). But these fucking roundabouts were miles around consequently, i would drive through the country, then the city, then a little suburb, and a little forest. That was my dream. I remember the scenery being beautiful but the vibe being completely surreal and confusing.
I never have heard from the woman at work who has blown me off. Tomorrow, i leave a note in her box essentially threatening to involve her supervisor unless she gets off her butt and schedules a time to meet with me. Sometimes, i fucking HATE being a manager. It's rotten being the bad guy.
This blog has no beautiful or clever theme woven throughout. It's just a compilation of tidbits of my life. However, tidbits seem to me to be symbolic of my life right now---aside from my baby (who is totally awesome), i pay attention to very little for an extended period of time. I can't even sleep for more than about 4 hours at a time...so everything that happens to me is a tidbit. The more i write the word "tidbit" the more i loathe it.
Hey, a few messages to my fellow blogging friends:
1) Sarah, i am going to bust your ass for that Steelers crack
but, i have to admit, i am a little embarassed for them....they really bite right now.
2) Also for Sarah, I am not worried about you and your falling down drunkeness on Seattle streets. But fer crissakes, wear some sensible shoes when it's raining! What the fuck are you thinking when ambling the streets in the rainy season? Also, goodluck with jobs. R u still not having plans for Turkey day? I need to remember to check with Bri and Les re: eating with us.

3) Moll, you are doing the right thing. You are taking an aggressive approach and i hope it pays dividends for you both. It must be so painful for you right now, but you are right, you have a kick-ass family and you are a wonderful mom. Love you.